Posts tagged conversation
Why you need self-compassion in your life and how to do it (even when you don’t want to)
Why you need self-compassion in your life and how to do it (even when you don’t want to)

At Skip the Small Talks, we ask attendees to have compassion for others and for themselves as they try out new ways to hold conversations. It’s probably obvious why we care about people having compassion for each other at an event where strangers are getting to know each other for the first time, but equally if not more important in that context is self-compassion. That’s because any attempt at change or improvement generally goes much more smoothly if you’re not beating yourself up after every setback. Connecting genuinely often requires taking some risks (like sharing things that feel a little vulnerable), and having compassion for yourself when those risks don’t pan out the way you hope can help you continue taking some risks in the long-term, and can help make the learning process easier for you in the short-term. 

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One quick tip for way better conversations
One quick tip for way better conversations

“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings,” said Stephen King, riffing off of a William Faulkner quote about writing. King and Faulkner were pointing out that the best writers are willing to erase portions of their writing that don't fit the larger story, even if the writing itself is good.


It’s the same with conversations. The best conversationalists are willing to go with the flow instead of trying to insert a thought from a few minutes ago wherever they can, even if that thought is clever, funny, or insightful. They're willing to give up contributing any given idea in order to be more present.

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Ashley Kirsnerconversation, conversationalist, kill your darlings, interrupting, interruption, tips, conversation tips, conversation tip, how to talk to people, talk to people, mindfulness, mindful, listening, how to listen, active listening, being present, presentComment
Five Thanksgiving icebreakers that don't suck
Five Thanksgiving icebreakers that don't suck

Ah, the holidays: A time when we hope our lives will look like those wholesome cartoon specials we watched as children, but also a time when anxieties about getting stuck in conversation with people who hold different political and moral ideologies might keep you from doing that happy dance from A Charlie Brown Christmas.


This Thanksgiving, we encourage you to take some time to connect with others in ways that feel authentic without feeling emotionally exhausting. To help the conversation flow, we offer you some ice-breakers that will get others to share about themselves while subtly nudging everyone’s mood in a positive direction. So if you do end up having the “here’s why racism is bad” conversation with Uncle Joe, you’ll have a buffer of positive experience--and perhaps some common ground--that’ll make it easier for you to communicate with one another.
 

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Ashley KirsnerThanksgiving, icebreaker, icebreakers, icebreaker questions, icebreaker question, gratitude, mood, good mood, positive, Thanksgiving icebreakers, questions to ask at Thanksgiving, how are you, how are you really, grateful, meaningful conversations, talk big, big talk, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk, no small talk, no small talk questions, how to skip the small talk, how to have conversations, conversation, conversations, meaningful conversation, deep conversation, deep conversations, family, how to talk to family, how to talk to people, how to get to know someone, how to meet people, communication, communication skills, healthy communication, self-disclosure, Christmas, holidays, Hanukkah, ChanukkahComment
The conversation hack you've never heard of
The conversation hack you've never heard of

Imagine you’re in an animated conversation with someone. You both laugh at something together, but then your chuckles trail off and you’re left in silence. What now?


Do you say something immediately? Do you wait for the other person to say something, no matter how long that takes? Do you jump in with whatever enters your head? Of course, it likely differs from situation to situation, but you probably average some number of seconds before you say something new if the other person doesn’t say anything, and you probably don’t stray too far from that average too often.

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Ashley Kirsnerconversation, conversation tips, conversation hacks, how to click with anyone, how to make anyone like you, how to make people like you, how to make people like me, conversations, conversation tip, conversational pause, conversational pauses, silence, comfort with silence, how to have healthy relationships, healthy relationship, healthy relationships, conversational space, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blog post, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, talking tips, talking, how to get people to like you, get people to like you, get people to hear you, I'm shy, shy, shyness, talk too much, talk too little, conversational control, blogsComment