Signs You’ve Met Someone Who “Gets” You (and How to Nurture That Connection)
You’ve met someone, and they seem great. The vibes are good, and you keep scheduling the next date. Now you’re starting to hear “Last Christmas” by Wham! and you want to make sure that you’re giving your heart to someone special.
Before we put out the casting call for your Hallmark worthy holiday rom com, it’s good to get in touch with our good sense and confirm that the person we’re in to, is actually into us.
So how do you tell if you’ve met someone who gets you? And what do you do after that?!
Two good signs
Remember, the gut check is key - does it feel like they get you? That’s a huge green flag! In contrast to potentially harmful patterns such as love-bombing (overwhelming with intense, positive emotions early in a relationship), really being seen and understood by someone build up over time.
These aren’t the only two signs of someone who really gets you, but they’re the two that keep me coming back for more.
They build on what you bring
When you bring up something you’re passionate about, or share a story - they listen deeply and take in what you say. Then, they build on it with a story, addition, connection, or twist that feels intuitively like, yeah, that! when you hear it. It’s a step beyond mirroring or reflecting, and shows they grasp the foundations of what you’ve shared in a way that lets it expand without feeling like a diversion.
You can play together
The banter is off the charts. There’s inside jokes and storytelling. It feels alive and dynamic when your minds (or bodies wink wink) meet. Play requires trust, respect, and intuition - therefore play coming naturally to your interactions can be a strong indicator that the other person gets you.
For example, my partner and I have a recurring bit where we silly dance at each other during the time it takes to heat something up in the microwave. Sometimes we don’t even speak, it’s spontaneous, responsive, and intuitive.
Nurture the Connection
Respond and trust it - keeping common sense in the back of your mind, trust the connection and act on it. Keep building and playing together.
Ask questions - we have lots of advice about questions, use these and create your own! Asking open ended questions reflects your interest in them and amplifies the connection.
Be vulnerable - we’ve named play and banter here a lot, but that doesn’t mean it’s positive vibes only. Be aware of your own needs and emotional safety, and begin sharing more of the tender stuff. It adds depth and nuance to the connection you’re crafting.
As always, you can practice these skills at a Skip the Small Talk Event near you!
Folks at an actual Skip the Small Talk event