Posts tagged relationships
10 Questions to ask your S.O. (or other loved ones) on Valentine's Day
10 Questions to ask your S.O. (or other loved ones) on Valentine's Day

As if figuring out what to do on Valentine’s Day isn’t hard enough, a lot of us have some additional pandemic-related parameters this year. So, we’ve come up with ideas for how to have a low-key but meaningful Valentine’s Day at home with your partner. (BONUS: If you’re not with a partner, you can absolutely pick and choose whatever pieces of this feel right to do with a friend or other loved one— we’ve even put together some adapted question prompts at the end of this to ask your friends, family, and other close people).

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Ashley Kirsnericebreaker, icebreakers, icebreaker questions, icebreaker prompts, Valentine's, Day, Valentine's Day, S.O., relationships, relationship advice, relationship tips, cheap Valentine's Day, easy Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day ideas, Quarantine Valentine's Day ideas, Quarantine Valentine's Day, Pandemic, pandemic, pandemic Valentine's Day ideas, questions to ask your boyfriend, questions to ask your girlfriend, questions to ask your partner, what should i do on Valentine's Day, cheap Valentine's Day ideas, easy Valentine's Day ideas, love, date ideas, date idea, what to do on Valentine's Day, questions for Valentine's Day, icebreakers for Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day icebreakers, Valentine's Day friends, friends, friend, what to do on Valentine's Day with a friend, how to spend Valentine's Day with a friend, spending Valentine's Day with a friend, Casper ter Kuile, ritual, rituals, Skip the Small TAlk, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk, blog, blog post, skip the small talk blog post, skip the small talk blog, questions, question prompts, dating questions, questions to ask on a date, questions to ask your wife, questions to ask your husband, questions to ask your firends, questions to ask your friends, questions to ask your husband on valentine's day, questions to ask your wife on valentine's day, questions to ask your husband for valentine's day, questions to your wife for valentine's day, questions to ask your friends on valentine's day, questions to as your friends for valentine's day, questions to ask on valentine's day, valentine's day icebreakers, icebreakers for valentine's day Comment
A unique strategy for big feelings
A unique strategy for big feelings

This week, I’m thinking about the above quote I found via psychologist and author Nedra Tawwab.

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Ashley KirsnerNedra Tawwab, psychology, feelings, overwhelming, overwhelming feelings, infatuation, anger, how to deal with anger, loud feeling, loud feelings, emotion regulation, DBT, DBT skills, how to chill out, how to calm down, anxiety, anxiety problem, anxiety problems, hopeless, feeling hopeless, hopelessness, quotes, quotes about feelings, quotes about relationships, relationships, relationship, relationship tips, relationship health, relationship tip, relationship advice, advice, psychologist, psychology research, tips from a psychologist, advice from a psychologist, self-reflection, introspection, deep breaths, meditation, mindfulness, exercise, self-improvement Comments
How to handle tough personalities
How to handle tough personalities

We’ve gotten a lot of requests for this one.

They often sound something like: “I’m a good communicator, but it’s just that my coworker/ roommate/ mom/ boyfriend’s second cousin is awful at communication.”

But no matter how horrible of a communicator they are, you can use this trick to work within their limited communication skills and get your point across.

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BlogAshley Kirsnerproblematic, fight, fighting, relationships, healthy relationships, healthy relationship, relationship, advice, tough personalities, tough personality, one quick tip to help you handle tough personalities, communication, communication skills, communicate, communication problems, having communication problems, pushing buttons, push buttons, relationship dynamicsComment
10 questions to ask your mom on Mother's Day
10 questions to ask your mom on Mother's Day

Mother’s Day can be a great excuse to connect with a woman who helped raise you. Of course, everyone has a different relationship with their mother (we’d love to take this opportunity to remind you of our article on metaconversations in case you think it’d be helpful to tweak something in your relationship with your mom), but for those of you who want to take the chance to get closer to the matriarch in your life, we’ve put together some questions to help create meaningful conversations that you might not have had with her before. Feel free to pick and choose the questions that feel right-- we recommend going with your intuition about what questions would work best for the kind of relationship you have with your mom.

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BlogAshley Kirsnermom, mother's day, icebreaker, icebreaker questions, question, questions, questions to ask, questions to ask your mom, questions to ask on mother's day, moms, 10 questions to ask, 10 questions to ask your mom, 10 questions to ask your mom on mother's day, mother's, day, mothers, relationships, relationship, icebreakers, icebreaker question, mother's day questions, metaconversation, metaconversations Comments
12 Nayyirah Waheed poems that Skip the Small Talk
12 Nayyirah Waheed poems that Skip the Small Talk

We're excited to either introduce you to or remind you about made-famous-by-Instagram-but-actually-because-of-talent-not-just-because-her-stuff-is-on-Instagram poet Nayyirah Waheed. Her books salt. and Nejma are brimming with unpretentious poems that capture human experiences we don't usually talk about in everyday life. So, obviously, she's very much our jam. Here are some of our favorite poems of hers that capture some of the ideas we've discussed in other blogposts or at our events.

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BlogAshley KirsnerNayyirah Waheed, Nayyirah, Waheed, poem, poems, poetry, poet, poets, woman of color, women of color, salt, salt., Nejma, nejma, a pinch of prose for those days, Instagram, Instagram poem, instagram, instagram poetry, Instagram poetry, relationships, what you need to say, split, hurt, vulnerability, vulnerable, pain, rejected, unable, masculine, culture, masculinity, men, strenght, strength from vulnerability, strength out of vulnerability, strength, honesty, yield, breakdown, break down, heal, healing, compassion, judgment, judging, judgmental, mindful, mindfulness, authentic, authenticity, people pleasing, people pleaser, people-pleasing, people-pleaser, self-love, self-care, speak up, speaking up, the freedom in fear, home, name, dam Comments
The normal you wish you were
The normal you wish you were

“It’s hard spending time with people who are the normal you wish you were,” said one of my closest friends. Her husband was struggling with a dependency on alcohol, and he found it painful to hang out with friends who could have a few drinks and call it a night. He would regularly talk himself into thinking he could be “normal” like them and just have a few drinks, but “a few” invariably turned into “too many” for him, and he would end up feeling shame about not being able to control his relationship with alcohol.
 

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Ashley Kirsnernormal, vulnerability, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk, small talk, no small talk, vulnerable, authentic, authenticity, weird, odd one out, fit in, want to fit in, I want to fit in, how to fit in, relationships, healthy relationships, isolation, isolated, lonely, alone, I feel alone, nobody gets me, blogs Comments
The fastest compatibility test you've never heard of
The fastest compatibility test you've never heard of

Okay, we’ll run with the title and make this quick. When someone new is entering your life, whether it’s a friend, a coworker, a romantic interest, or someone else you’re still figuring out how and to what extent you’d like to fit them into your life, try asking yourself:

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Ashley Kirsnerromance, romantic, relationships, relationship, relationship advice, compatible, compatibility, skip the small talk, metaconversation, metaconversations, feelings, Valentine's Day, Valentine's, Happy Valentine's Day, happiness, happy, happy relationship, how do I feel, how do I feel when I'm with them, How do I feel when I'm with, How do I feel, how do you feel, advice, love advice, should I stay with him, should I stay with her, should I stay with them, should I break up with, should I break up with my girlfriend, should I break up with my boyfriend, should we break up, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breaking up, healthy relationships, healthy relationship, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, blogsComment
Do you know how to "be yourself?" The question that will help you be authentic even when the stakes are high
Do you know how to "be yourself?" The question that will help you be authentic even when the stakes are high

“Just be yourself!”
“Don’t worry about what other people think of you!”
“Dance like nobody’s watching!”
“To thine own self be true.”


We consume these truisms from the moment our infant brains can understand them and we don’t stop until we’ve seen one too many cliché-littered Pinterest boards. But the reality is, if you’re flailing your limbs on the dance floor without a single thought of who’s watching, or who’s within arm’s reach, you might accidentally smack someone in the face. How do you dance like you’re aware that people are watching, but you know that you’re dancing for yourself, and not for them? How can you think about the space you're taking up on the dance floor without having it affect your self-expression? How soon until we're done with this metaphor? It's important to "be true to yourself," but if you’re not thinking about how others respond to your behavior, you might be missing out on opportunities to connect, and you may even hurt others or yourself in the process.
 

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Ashley KirsnerSkip the Small Talk blog post, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk, no small talk, be yourself, just be yourself, don't worry, dance like nobody's watching, dance like nobody is watching, to thine own self, to thine own self be true, oversharing, tmi, identity, holidays, Christmas, in-laws, how to talk to in-laws, authenticity, authentic, genuine, genuineness, relationships, relationship, relationship advice, blogs