One simple trick to make conflict suck less

With any relationship that engenders enough vulnerability and closeness, conflict is usually bound to come up. So one of the best approaches, I’ve found, is to be prepared for it and have a plan for how to handle it when conflict arises.

There’s already tons of literature about how to fight well, but I’ve found one trick that you might not be familiar with.

I call it the “emotional right-of-way.”

Ashley KirsnerMay 13, 2021metaconversation, metaconversations, emotional management, emotion management, conflict, how to make conflict suck less, how make conflict feel less bad, how to fix conflict, one way to make conflict suck less, emotional right-of-way, right-of-way, blog, skip the small talk, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, feelings, emotions, who should talk first, who should go first, fight, fighting, fight better, better fights, four horsement, four horsemen, four horsemen of the apocalypse, 4 horsemen, 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, how to make up, conflict with boyfriend, conflict with girlfriend, conflict with family, close relationships, close relationship, conflict resolution, resolve conflict Comments

A unique strategy for big feelings

This week, I’m thinking about the above quote I found via psychologist and author Nedra Tawwab.

Three life lessons from the movie Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Mr. Rogers was the dad America needed. The biographical movie Won’t You Be My Neighbor does an incredible job of showing us why. Whether you saw the movie and want some help processing or whether you didn’t see it but still want some takeaways, enjoy these three big life lessons via the sweatered socioemotional powerhouse, himself.

The fastest compatibility test you've never heard of

Okay, we’ll run with the title and make this quick. When someone new is entering your life, whether it’s a friend, a coworker, a romantic interest, or someone else you’re still figuring out how and to what extent you’d like to fit them into your life, try asking yourself:

What to do about anger

Has your anger ever led to an action you regretted? Maybe you sent a text you didn’t feel great about, maybe some words came out of your mouth more harshly than you’d intended, or maybe your anger came out sideways and you spent some time silently fuming and distracted from your everyday life. Since anger can compel you to take action before thinking, it can be useful to have some tools ready for the next time you’re feeling peeved.

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When vulnerability backfires

Hey,

So you tried to be vulnerable in some way, whether it was telling someone how you felt, or asking for what you wanted or needed, or sharing about yourself in a way that felt like “too much,” or otherwise extending an invitation to someone to join you in being a little more human together. And for whatever reason, in some way, it didn’t go as well as you’d hoped. And maybe right now, you feel some combination of disappointed, sad, hurt, invalidated, anxious, hopeless, worthless, angry, frustrated, and/or other feelings you didn't sign up for.

Ashley KirsnerJuly 13, 2017vulnerability, for when vulnerability kicks your ass, vulnerable, pain, emotions, feelings, Skip the Small Talk, letter, letter for when vulnerability sucks, vulnerability sucks, rejection, rejected, feeling awful, feel awful, sad, disappointed, hurt, invalidated, anxiety, hopelessness, hopeless, feeling anxious, feeling hopeless, feeling worthless, feeling angry, feeling frustrated, feeling rejected, feeling sad, comfort, comforting, suicide hotline, emotional support, crisis, suicide, imperfect, imperfections, imperfection, embrace imperfection, embracing imperfection, i'm sad, i'm feeling sad, i was rejected, feel sad, i feel sad, i feel rejected, I feel like a burden, how can i comfort, how to comfort, how to deal with rejection, how to cope with rejection, how to rejection, love, worthiness, worthy, vulnerability hangover, trying again, try again, begin again, frustrated, frustration, I'm hopeless, I feel hopeless, I'm worthless, I feel worthless, I feel sad, I'm sad, I'm disappointed, I feel disappointed, I'm hurt, I'm invalidated, I'm anxious, I feel invalidated, invalidating, I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated with, I feel like shit, I feel shitty, I feel awful, feeling shitty, I'm feeling shitty, feel like shit Comment

How to be lonely

America is incredibly lonely, but social norms and the nature of loneliness, itself, can make it difficult for people to take the actions that make them feel more connected to others; loneliness can lead to a feedback loop in which feelings of isolation make you perceive the world in ways that lead you to feel even lonelier.

Since this leaves a lot of folks feeling trapped in their loneliness and unable to see a way out, we decided to develop some activities to help break the cycle.

TIPS, STORIES, AND insPiration