I love the above quote from Dr. Lauren Appio. I think it’s important for all of us to accept that for as long as we are alive, even when we don’t mean to, we are going to say things that hurt people. It’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.”

So, whether you’ve said something less-than-kind to a loved one or you’ve used the wrong pronoun for an acquaintance, here are some guidelines for how to respond.

Ashley KirsnerFebruary 11, 2021apology, apologize, how to apologize, how to say sorry, how to say you're sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, i'm sorry, how to say I'm sorry, I messed up, I fucked up, I messed up what do I do, I screwed up, I screwed up what do I do, self-compassion, compassion, social justice, pronouns, how to get pronouns right, trans rights, how to learn someone's pronouns, how to make a mistake, I made a mistake, how to make it up to her, how to make it up to you, how do I make it up to her, how to make it up to him, how do I make it up to him, how to make it up to them, how do I make it up to them, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, blog, blog post, Skip the Small Talk blog post, decision tree, Dr. Lauren Appio, Dr. Appio, systemic injustice, systemic racism, mispronounced someone's name, now what?, what do I do?, what should I do?, the ultimate guide to apologizing, the ultimate template, template, apology template, apologizing template, template for apologizing, self-deprecation, racism, anti-racist, anti-racism, empathy, empathizing, how to empathize, how to have empathy, when to apologize, anger, angry, someone's mad at me, someone's angry at me, they're angry at me, angry at me, mad at me, they're mad at me, someone mad at me, make mistakes, making mistakes, oops, whoops, my bad, my b, apologies, my apologies Comment

10 questions to ask yourself for the new year

Sometimes, a little reflection can be helpful for ushering you through transitions. The new year happens to be a great opportunity to introspect on the last 365-ish days, and an especially good time to start new habits. So, we’ve come up with ten questions to help you make meaning of the last year and to move with direction into the next. As always, we encourage you to delve deeper into the questions that jibe with you and to leave the ones that don’t.

BlogAshley KirsnerDecember 21, 2018new years, new year, reflection, questions, resolution, new years resolution, new years resolutions, compassion, self-compassion, self improvement, new habits, break old habits, habits, ten questions, ten questions to ask yourself for the new year, 10 questions to ask yourself for the new year Comment

Why you need self-compassion in your life and how to do it (even when you don’t want to)

At Skip the Small Talks, we ask attendees to have compassion for others and for themselves as they try out new ways to hold conversations. It’s probably obvious why we care about people having compassion for each other at an event where strangers are getting to know each other for the first time, but equally if not more important in that context is self-compassion. That’s because any attempt at change or improvement generally goes much more smoothly if you’re not beating yourself up after every setback. Connecting genuinely often requires taking some risks (like sharing things that feel a little vulnerable), and having compassion for yourself when those risks don’t pan out the way you hope can help you continue taking some risks in the long-term, and can help make the learning process easier for you in the short-term.

BlogAshley KirsnerApril 5, 2018compassion, self-compassion, Skip the Small Talk, blogpost, skip the small talk, hotline, suicide hotline, listening, talking, self-love, vulnerability, genuine, communicating, communication, communication skills, coping skills, coping, distress tolerance, tolerating distress, resilience, psychological well-being, well-being, happiness, mood, happy, friends, friendship, strenghts, positive psychology, positivity, help, criticism, critique, be kind to yourself, worthy, worthiness, you are worthy, self-talk, positive self-talk, mental health, mental wellness, Skip the Small Talks, authentic, conversations, conversation, evolutionary psychology, evolution, negative, negativity bias, negativity, gratitude, asking for help, reaching out for help, reach out for help, reach out, reaching outComment

12 Nayyirah Waheed poems that Skip the Small Talk

We're excited to either introduce you to or remind you about made-famous-by-Instagram-but-actually-because-of-talent-not-just-because-her-stuff-is-on-Instagram poet Nayyirah Waheed. Her books salt. and Nejma are brimming with unpretentious poems that capture human experiences we don't usually talk about in everyday life. So, obviously, she's very much our jam. Here are some of our favorite poems of hers that capture some of the ideas we've discussed in other blogposts or at our events.

BlogAshley KirsnerMarch 13, 2018Nayyirah Waheed, Nayyirah, Waheed, poem, poems, poetry, poet, poets, woman of color, women of color, salt, salt., Nejma, nejma, a pinch of prose for those days, Instagram, Instagram poem, instagram, instagram poetry, Instagram poetry, relationships, what you need to say, split, hurt, vulnerability, vulnerable, pain, rejected, unable, masculine, culture, masculinity, men, strenght, strength from vulnerability, strength out of vulnerability, strength, honesty, yield, breakdown, break down, heal, healing, compassion, judgment, judging, judgmental, mindful, mindfulness, authentic, authenticity, people pleasing, people pleaser, people-pleasing, people-pleaser, self-love, self-care, speak up, speaking up, the freedom in fear, home, name, dam Comment

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