One simple trick to make conflict suck less

With any relationship that engenders enough vulnerability and closeness, conflict is usually bound to come up. So one of the best approaches, I’ve found, is to be prepared for it and have a plan for how to handle it when conflict arises.

There’s already tons of literature about how to fight well, but I’ve found one trick that you might not be familiar with.

I call it the “emotional right-of-way.”

Ashley KirsnerMay 13, 2021metaconversation, metaconversations, emotional management, emotion management, conflict, how to make conflict suck less, how make conflict feel less bad, how to fix conflict, one way to make conflict suck less, emotional right-of-way, right-of-way, blog, skip the small talk, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, feelings, emotions, who should talk first, who should go first, fight, fighting, fight better, better fights, four horsement, four horsemen, four horsemen of the apocalypse, 4 horsemen, 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, how to make up, conflict with boyfriend, conflict with girlfriend, conflict with family, close relationships, close relationship, conflict resolution, resolve conflict Comments

Three life lessons from the movie Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Mr. Rogers was the dad America needed. The biographical movie Won’t You Be My Neighbor does an incredible job of showing us why. Whether you saw the movie and want some help processing or whether you didn’t see it but still want some takeaways, enjoy these three big life lessons via the sweatered socioemotional powerhouse, himself.

What to do about anger

Has your anger ever led to an action you regretted? Maybe you sent a text you didn’t feel great about, maybe some words came out of your mouth more harshly than you’d intended, or maybe your anger came out sideways and you spent some time silently fuming and distracted from your everyday life. Since anger can compel you to take action before thinking, it can be useful to have some tools ready for the next time you’re feeling peeved.

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When vulnerability backfires

Hey,

So you tried to be vulnerable in some way, whether it was telling someone how you felt, or asking for what you wanted or needed, or sharing about yourself in a way that felt like “too much,” or otherwise extending an invitation to someone to join you in being a little more human together. And for whatever reason, in some way, it didn’t go as well as you’d hoped. And maybe right now, you feel some combination of disappointed, sad, hurt, invalidated, anxious, hopeless, worthless, angry, frustrated, and/or other feelings you didn't sign up for.

Ashley KirsnerJuly 13, 2017vulnerability, for when vulnerability kicks your ass, vulnerable, pain, emotions, feelings, Skip the Small Talk, letter, letter for when vulnerability sucks, vulnerability sucks, rejection, rejected, feeling awful, feel awful, sad, disappointed, hurt, invalidated, anxiety, hopelessness, hopeless, feeling anxious, feeling hopeless, feeling worthless, feeling angry, feeling frustrated, feeling rejected, feeling sad, comfort, comforting, suicide hotline, emotional support, crisis, suicide, imperfect, imperfections, imperfection, embrace imperfection, embracing imperfection, i'm sad, i'm feeling sad, i was rejected, feel sad, i feel sad, i feel rejected, I feel like a burden, how can i comfort, how to comfort, how to deal with rejection, how to cope with rejection, how to rejection, love, worthiness, worthy, vulnerability hangover, trying again, try again, begin again, frustrated, frustration, I'm hopeless, I feel hopeless, I'm worthless, I feel worthless, I feel sad, I'm sad, I'm disappointed, I feel disappointed, I'm hurt, I'm invalidated, I'm anxious, I feel invalidated, invalidating, I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated with, I feel like shit, I feel shitty, I feel awful, feeling shitty, I'm feeling shitty, feel like shit Comment

A Better "How are you?"

Cultural niceties can make it challenging to answer “How are you?” honestly if you are feeling much more than, “Fine, thanks. How about you?” If you change up the phrasing of your question even slightly, though, it can often be enough to disrupt the automatic process that leads to uninformative and uninteresting answers. Here are some options for making it easier on others to answer you honestly, even if they’re not feeling “fine.”

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