3 Tips for Connecting with a Crush when You’re Busy
Whether it’s holiday hype, chronic overscheduling, the gig economy hustle, or taking care of loved ones, there’s nothing more wistful than connecting with a cutie and then finding yourself so busy you lose the connection.
I’ve got three simple tips for keeping the connection going when there aren’t enough hours in the day. These 3 tips show you are interested, considerate, honest, and have follow through power.
Forewarning: “busy” is shorthand for priorities, as we’ve talked about before. If you truly cannot prioritize a connection, you owe it to the other person and yourself to honestly assess and communicate that. Once you’ve done the gut check and confirmed that this busy period is time limited (let’s say a month or so as a starting place), use these tips to demonstrate you aren’t blowing them off.
3 tips
Have a sendoff - if you can, have an extra special date before your commitments ramp up. Be transparent - “I am about to get super busy with the holidays, I want to treat you to your favorite xyz before I’m MIA”. The activity should be something you both enjoy, whether it’s formal attire restaurant and dancing or marathon Minecraft in pajamas. Shut off other distractions (like your phone) and focus on being present with your crush.
Make a plan - schedule the next time you will see them and prioritize that date. As in, only truly unavoidable or serious conflicts would make you cancel (getting sick, mandatory extra shifts, etc). “I would love to schedule our next date, so I have something to look forward to! When are you free [after your commitments end]?” If work schedules or other issues prevent nailing down a time and day, schedule the time you’re going to reach out again. For example, they get their work schedule a week before, say “I’ll reach out on x day to firm up our plans”.
Keep conversing - whatever your usual pace of conversation between dates is, keep it up (or increase it, if they are open). I say converse because I mean more than a “what’s up, beautiful?” Use our many resources on conversation strategies to keep exploring, getting to know them, and showing you genuinely care. And it does not need to be all texting; adding phone calls or video chats to the mix will keep you in the habit of connecting in real time.
Keep in mind, they are entitled to say no to any of these ideas, or to want more than you can offer at this time. The key is always honesty, consistency, and good faith.
Folks at an actual Skip the Small Talk event