Thank the Host: Successful Speed Dating Strategy
reflections from sxsw panel with tim molnar
At SXSW this year, I had the chance to be on a panel with dating coach and author Tim Molnar.
We covered a topic most people seem to be struggling with:
How do we find belonging in a disconnected world?
If you’ve ever wanted to meet new people but felt unsure how to start, you’re not alone.
Most people assume that:
You need to be naturally outgoing
People don’t want to talk to strangers
Connection is something that “just happens”
The research - and Tim’s work - suggest something different.
Connection is built through small, intentional behaviors that most people underestimate.
The Overlooked Habit of Highly Connected People
During our panel, I shared something I’ve noticed from running Skip the Small Talk events.
When I look at the top 1% of people who consistently get the most matches (both platonic and romantic), one behavior stands out:
They thank the host.
Not because thanking the host is magical in and of itself, but because it reflects something deeper, that others notice: They come across as someone who is kind and takes initiative.
This aligns with a broader pattern Tim sees in his coaching work:
The people who experience the most success in the dating world are not necessarily the most charismatic. They’re the most proactive.
They:
Attend reoccurring events
Introduce themselves instead of waiting
Say, “This was fun - we should do it again”
And, of course, thank the host
These behaviors do take some effort, but they signal warmth, interest, and openness, and they’re the building blocks of connection.
Practice Connection
One of Tim’s core ideas is that dating and relationships work more like a numbers game than most people realize.
Connection is rarely immediate. It’s built through repeated exposure, small signals of interest, and gradual familiarity.
The next time you’re at Skip the Small Talk (or any event), ask yourself, “Did I show up in a way that creates the possibility of connection?”
About Tim Molnar
Tim Molnar is a dating coach and the author of Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern Romance.
His work combines behavioral science, psychology, and practical systems to help people take a more intentional approach to dating and connection.
You can learn more about Tim and his dating coaching through his website and his book.
Folks at an actual Skip the Small Talk event