Posts tagged depression
Why your life is hard and how you can fix it
Why your life is hard and how you can fix it

Life will throw plenty of unpredictability at you. So why do so many of us go seeking out chaos in the areas of our lives where we actually have control? The short answer: seeking out chaos is a trauma response.

For those of us who grew up in chaotic environments— whether that chaos is from abusive caretakers, anxious caretakers, or even just caretakers who bickered in front of you— we’ll often feel the most comfortable in chaos. And that means that when given the option, we may tend to choose living spaces, friends, jobs, partners, hobbies, etc. that are chaotic in some way or another.

Choosing chaos in general isn’t necessarily a bad thing! We wouldn’t have anyone working in emergency rooms, or picking up the phone for folks who dial 911, or even acting, for that matter, if there weren’t some people who thrived in chaos. It’s a superpower. But it can also be a drain on your energy if you’re not careful.

That’s why I suggest, especially if you are someone who grew up in chaos and are drawn to chaos, to take inventory of your life from time to time by asking yourself the following question:

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Ashley Kirsnershould i break up, should I break up with my girlfriend?, should i break up with my boyfriend?, should i break up with my spouse?, should i get a divorce?, should i get a divorce, should i break up with my partner, should i break up with my partner?, should i break up with my friend, friend break-up, friend breakup, friend breakups, friend break-ups, banging your head against a wall, banging your head, chaos seeking, i love chaos, trauma response, trauma responses, trauma, impact of trauma, depression, sad all the time, why do I feel sad all the time, why do i feel sad, why am i angry all the time, angry all the time, mad all the time, why am i mad all the timeComment
5 minutes a night to get you happier and less stressed
5 minutes a night to get you happier and less stressed

Not a lot of people know this about me, but I once took an eight-week class about how to cope with chronic pain. The class was run by a hospital, and everything they taught was based in science. I was attending because I had hit my head, and it had led to a slew of health problems, a lot of which entailed chronic pain. That class ended up not only reducing my pain, but also left me feeling happier and more peaceful in general.

One of the tools I learned in the class was intended to decrease stress, anxiety, and depression, and it was the simplest, most elegant nightly activity that I’d never heard of before. So, I thought I’d share it with you. If you have five minutes to spare each night, you can totally do this in bed on your phone (I know, I know, we’re not supposed to be on our phones before bed, but do what you gotta do), or write it in a notebook if you prefer.

Here’s the exercise. Feel free to write down the answers to these wherever it’s convenient for you, and do your best to do this every night.

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Ashley Kirsnerhow to be happier, how to be happy, how can i be happy, how can i be happier, depression, depressed, anxiety, anxious, less stressed, reduce stress, how to reduce stress, how can i be happir, how do i be happier, how do i be happy, gratitude, gratitudes, positive reframing, positive reframe, chronic pain, chronic health problems, chronic health problem, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, cfs, chronic fatigue syndrome Comment
Three tips for surviving the holidays
Three tips for surviving the holidays

Whether you’re spending the holidays with family, with friends, or with yourself this year, your celebrations probably won’t live up to the impossibly wholesome fireside gatherings that the media depicts as the norm. Well, the good news is that no matter how many pictures of glistening ham you see on Instagram, nobody else’s holiday is going to be perfect, either. So, we’ve come up with some tips for making the most out of your holidays, whatever they look like.

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Ashley Kirsnerholidays, holiday, Christmas, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Happy Chanukkah, boundaries, setting boundaries, how to set boundaries, how to have boundaries, how to have a healthy relationships, how to connect, family, how to be with family, self-care, mindful, mindfulness, mindful acceptance, mindfully accept, three tips for surviving the holidays, survive the holidays, how to survive the holidays, depression, sad, lonely, I feel lonely, feel lonely, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blog post, missed my flight, anxiety, Maslow's hierarchy, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Maslow, boundary, set boundary, how to connect with family, visiting family, without going crazy, party, holiday party, holiday party ideas, Christmas party, Christmas party ideas, Hanukkah party, Hanukkah party ideas, hosting a party, host a party, how to host a partyComment