Posts tagged how to make people like you
How to be charming

I’ve seen a lot of content about how to be charming, and a lot of it is based in fooling people or creating power dynamics where others feel like they’re below you in some way. That may “work” in the short term (for various definitions of “work”), but I think that at best, they lead to unsatisfying interactions for all people involved. And at worst, those strategies for being charming can lead to abusive dynamics.

So what can you do instead? Here are some tips for being charming in a way that’ll actually feel good for both you and the people you’re talking to.

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The conversation hack you've never heard of

Imagine you’re in an animated conversation with someone. You both laugh at something together, but then your chuckles trail off and you’re left in silence. What now?


Do you say something immediately? Do you wait for the other person to say something, no matter how long that takes? Do you jump in with whatever enters your head? Of course, it likely differs from situation to situation, but you probably average some number of seconds before you say something new if the other person doesn’t say anything, and you probably don’t stray too far from that average too often.

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